That food and marriage are connected is not a matter of debate for most people. What is less obvious is how the same institution that is supposed to bring people together might be actually bent on separating us from our food. Here I am mostly speaking specifically about my observations of marriage amongst the Kenyan diaspora but one can certainly extrapolate the same case to the general institution of marriage under capitalism or amongst any dominated group of people.
It occured to me that our defination marriage is extrinsically defined. Which is itself not necessarily a bad thing. Culture is one of three of the most oppressive institutions, the other partners in crime being religion and government. It behoves man to be weary of their oppressive tendencies at evey turn.
The number one charge I would bring against them is unnecessary control against freedom of thought and the unjust enrichment which ensue. It is the unjust enrichment that causes a power imbalance.
That is probably one of the main reasons I follow Mwende's writings. Her thinking out of the three above boxes has earned her a front seat at my imaginary gathering of a freedom lovers.
So the first thought was what marriage are you talking about?
When people are oppressed and living under the gaze of empires, there are no marriages. It's like planting off season. Nothing will grow. It's all vanity! It's like betting at the casino. The only beneficiary is the casino. Marriage under the churches and governments benefits them, primarily.
Marriage is the most expensive emmotional and material investment community can expect to have. No other barometer can measure how how healthy a community is. It's also one of the best predictors of how the future will look like.
In marriage you have two major things happening in the shortest time possible with the longest impact that reaches far into the future generations. Two people assemble in front of a gullible crowd and make a promises that few will hold them accountable to, besides the issuer of the marriage certificates and the lawyers who will help both parties disolve such unions. All others are spectators and collateral damage.
You don't have to take my word for it. History is full of people whose lives touches our lives in a big way, both positive and negative. Many of those people ideally came about as a result of a marriage.
If I was to borrow two of the defining concepts of Western arnarchist thinker, James Prudon, marriage is theft and propaganda by the deed.
Marriage is propaganda as it's an agent that propagates certain ideologies. If you are a morman or catholic, there are no better ways to spread your ideas than giving birth or by extension having other with your ideas give birth also. Oppressive ideas and people grow in numbers mostly through marriages. In less measure, just like progressive and enlightening ideas and people.
I am not suggesting that ideas would not thrive in the abscence of marriages but that certain ideas can be easily spread through marriages. It's a very subtle but highly effective tool of control. By those who plan to dominate or enslave others, gaining control of what and how people marry can be a source of great power.
On a different level, marriage is a theft. There are so many levels in which it is theft.
First, it is very difficult to discuss fairness in marriage in a capitalistic sense. There is no equality in marriage except fairness, support in the common goals and satisfaction in the fulfillment of community and biological obligation.
The community investment where those who contribute have little say in the investment. Marriages in our modern days are social. Yet, the community has little influence in what they invest in.
In my Gìkùyù culture, for example, the extended family would invest in securing a wife for one of their sons. In return, they expected the girl to bear children for the family. I personally don't think it is the best option possible but it was clear why the community was involved and what they expected in return.
The resources we currently exchanged between families could be best used to surporting the struggle for a social issues that plague our society and partly the newly weds.
Times have changed and a totally different culture has replaced our tradional way of life. Yet our marriages are still wedded, no pun intended, to our old ways. This has caused some to take advantage of others in the most blatant ways.
Amongst the Kenyans in the diaspora, there have been cases where couples have been alleged to have married just for the sake of fleecing money from their fellow gullible country men. The couple would plan a wedding and raise funds in the U.S to conduct weddings in Kenya. That is illogical in many ways. How does that make sense? There again lays outright theft. How does a people from a country living on debt, suffering from all manner of social, economic, political and environmental ills invest sums as high as 10 million in an investment that is so poorly insured?
How is it poorly insured? Because there are so many huddles for marriages amongst an oppressed group. Unemployment, poor diet, poor governments, corruption, food insecurity, high numbers of unmarried men and women all impact existing marriages. That means a marriage that takes place during times of instability will most likely fail.
My fears are not unfounded. The institution of marriage is in crisis. It's a confirmation that crisis in our society means crisis in marriage. Unfortunately, many act as though marriage is an institution made in heaven or the stars and therefore immune to all the crisis we face here on earth. To think that is to be openly perpetuating both theft and negative propaganda.
This does not however mean that marriage is inherently bad. It has the ability to provide a lot of good to both the culture and the people involved. My focus for this post was about how it is used and abused keep many powerless and working for the benefit of others. I am especially reminded of the relationship between a male Praying Mantis, where by the male offers its head in exchange to mating. Its head is then eaten and then the female allow the headless male to inject the late late males sperms into the female. Before you say that playing mantis are insects and of little consequence, let us look at the smartest animal that is also man's best friend. In the world, the world dogs have one alpha female who is the only one who can bear children. In case any other lesser female bears puppies, those puppies are killed. I know the Praying Mantis and dogs are not married but their relationship slightly mirrors human relationships in its most exploitative state. It is on those grounds that I are making a case for a justice marriage.
In the end, we cause a divorce in Sustainability and Justice. Where we see the evidence of that divorce is in food. We are ever growing apart from our food.
If you haven't eaten and loved freely, I truly say unto you, you haven't truly lived.
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